Waiting. Waiting. Gone.

Divorce is a veiled monster who grazes on green pastures, over there, on the other side.

Waiting. Waiting. Gone.

They say, “Kids are resilient and brilliant. Soon they won’t know what’s different.”

Waiting. Waiting. Gone.

Memories that would be and memories that won’t be, linger in “what ifs?” and “should be’s.”

Waiting. Waiting. Gone.

Forgotten are the Grandmas and grandpas, the auntys and uncles, in divorce’s shadow  as they are,

Waiting. Waiting. Gone.

Foolish are we who tread cavalierly, on hearts who ache to be, a part of this once was family.

Waiting. Waiting. Gone.

So we go about our day. We laugh and we play because tomorrow will soon be gone.

 

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Upon Sitting in my Thinking Spot

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There are two places sacred to me, my thinking spot and my sitting spot.

Early in the darkest of hours I sit in my sitting spot and I read. I write. I sip. I am still.

This morning I flipped open my journal and came across a little something I must have wrote while sitting on my mountain or as I call it, my thinking spot last summer.

I thought I’d share.

Listen to the Voice in the leaves
as they chatter in the wind.
It’s rythym breathes life like a
a ferocious whisper –
breathing deep into the
ressess of my heart.
My rhythm becomes His,
steady like an ever swaying metronome.
For just as sure as He is present
so shall I be.
It is well.
~August 14th 2014

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My thinking spot. Saskatoon Mountain, Beaverlodge Alberta.

10 Reasons I Walk my Daughter to School Everyday

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Every morning I walk my daughter to school.  It’s become something she sees as a mom/daughter moment.

But it’s more than that.  These are 10 reasons I walk my daughter to school everyday.

1. It’s creates routine.

2. It’s gets my dog walked.

3. It creates an opportunity for conversation

4. There can be zero excuses for not walking anywhere because it’s too cold outside…of course this will change when it’s ridiculously cold out, I’ll drive

5. It’s not called active living.  It’s called LIVING.

6. In a time when bad things are being reported at schools, more parents need to show up and make a presence both on the school grounds and on the streets.

7. It teaches my daughter to take the road less traveled.

8. Because I can.  She’s going to be too cool for me one day and I’m going to enjoy it now.

9. It gets me outside and moving in the elements.

10.  Makes me appreciate my surroundings.  Stop and smell the roses and take part in your community.

I Have Wrestled with a Grizzly Bear

I have wrestled with a grizzly bear all my life.

She comes to me in the darkest of nights, and the loneliest of days.

She hunts me by the smell of fear that is her prey, me.

I can feel her ever looming presence, her being

grips my heart with the clenching power that is her mandible bone.

Great is her presence both real and imaginary for she haunts me in my sleep,

when my world is still and silent, where peace should give me rest.

I can remember her first visit into my bedroom cloaked in the darkest of night.

I was a child, the age of 3 – maybe 4.

The summer air was warm and a breeze blew in my bedroom rescuing me from the heat of the day.

I don’t remember why, but the screen to my window had been removed, or broken – by myself or another, I can not remember.

I had spotted her earlier in the day, off in the distance,

rummaging…..

lurking in the field, as I walked home after playing with a girl whose family had been staying in a cabin.

Her curiosity and meandering ways had brought her to the small fishing resort where my family and I lived.

I remember waking up in the quiet of the night, hearing vast amounts of air being inhaled and exhaled, deep was her breath.

It filled my rib cage, heavy and tense.

The noise of her snout was taking in the tasteful scent in the air, me.

I opened my eyes from the dead of sleep and there she was, her head so close I could reach up and touch her.

Sheer terror pierced my bones and surged within my veins and flesh,

it was like nothing I can describe and yet I remember it like it was yesterday,

– like it was tonight, for she was in my bedroom again.

Her life on this earth ended that night.

Somewhere in time and movement that I can not remember, I managed to morph my physical body to be one with my bed,

creating as much space humanly possible between me and my bear as I woke my dad.

She may have died that day, but she continues to live in my dreams.

Its been years since I’ve had them and yet tonight, she hunted me again.

The beat of her breath rang in my ear, and

her jaw clenched my heart as fear ran down my back like condensated sweat.

She revealed her presence, lurking in the darkest of night,  tormenting with teasing terror, and in an oddity that only a dream can possess.

Her razor sharp claws could gash your hand should you lean up against the wall of the house, its walls angered by the mere touch of human flesh.

I have the gifted ability of the eyesight of an eagle, gazing over a rocky mountain valley,

watching her hunt me as I panic and flee through the forrest.

Running. Desperate. Grasping for safety.

And yet…..she continues on.

As surely as time exists, she exists.

She hunts with a diligent determination and the patience of a lifetime.

Her thirst for my blood fuels her every move,

step by step,

dream by dream,

year by year.

It is not a matter of if, but when.

For 37 years she’s been on the prowl and tonight she awoke from her dormant hibernation, leaving her den, hidden the recesses of my mind.

I have wrestled with a grizzly bear,

even if only it were in my dreams.

 

The Fall of Humanity

We cover up, let up, make up and shut up,

We lie, cheat, claim, and demand from others,

It’s my way or the high way, it’s a swipe to the right,

It’s a fake tits, fake nails, fake tan, photoshoped selfies,

It’s declaring our true inner being, and proclaiming our narsasistic self love.

It’s political lies, demands and grossly manipulated truths –

until the “truth” Is subjective, objective and imperceptive.

It’s a declaration of dependence on a drug induced culture

High on normalcy, balance, and sameness, giving way

To battle cries of “rights”  “opinions” “voice” and do as we so chose.

It’s the bitching and moaning when someone’s choice

impinges, infringes and calls out our self indoctrinated

truths backed by momentary whims and flights of fancy.

It’s the tail between the leg and the shoulder shrugged

“oops, I did it again” with the expectation – no wait, a the demand

of tolerance and understanding.

It’s the lack of backbone, no foundation, void of a standard

on which to ground our children, our morals, our future.

Heaven forbid we draw a line in the sand and say “NO, this is wrong!”

Our moral compass and the base of human rights has become

Tolerant, and entitled.

We have played a moral jenga as society teeters this way and that

As our vertebral backbone bends
And sways to the blinded masses.

Fall we will. Fall we must.
For without Fall there is no Spring.  

Winter is Coming. 

Deconstructing Chaos

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Back to the Basics

Remember when things were less complicated?  The ebb and flow of chaos in life consisted of Sunday afternoon sit down dinners, school lunch was homemade and music lyrics had depth and meaning?  Remember when summers consisted of picking berries and gathering firewood in prep for the winter and family dinners weren’t reserved for six times a year with a plastic easter bunny or Santa blinking on the front yard?  Remember when we played outside till it was dark and our cheeks glowed red and our hands burned as they thawed out?   Remember when halloween costumes were handmade and poisoned candy was just a old wives tale?  Remember when we had to babysit, shovel driveways and do chores for allowance in order to buy a treat?  Or remember when we didn’t have so many words in our dictionary as to accommodate political correctness and blatant laziness in use of the english language?

I do.

My kids won’t. Not unless I make the choice to do things differently, like getting back to the basics.

It’s time to get back to the basics and deconstruct the chaos.

  • Walk your kids to school.
  • Make super with your kids.
  • Teach your kids to quilt.
  • Cuddle on the couch.
  • Kiss and gross out your kids
  • Shut the phone off.
  • Eat without guilt.
  • Create moments of conversation.
  • Go to bed early and together.

I know that my business revolves around safety and some might ask, what does this have to do with occupational health and safety?  It has everything to do with it, as it starts with me.  When I take care of me, I take care of those around me and I perform better at work.

  • Slow down.
  • Eat.
  • Drink water.
  • Sleep.
  • Spend time with loved ones.
  • Play.
  • Laugh
  • Love.

and then,

  • Work.